Category Archives: Things le personnel



Once again – yes,I went to Lady Gaga #BTWBall show in Riga last night. And that shit was INTENSE.
I know a lot of you have been asking me how was the show,to tell you everything,how do I feel now and so on,so I’ll do my best to serve you all possible information and in-tell that I can!

And warning – this post might turn out as long as an essay,so…  read on your own risk,everyone! 🙂

Alright,here’s the basics: So,we had only standing tickets,no seats or anything. (The chairs in the arena were specifically removed,just for the Gaga show!) There were 3 zones – The cheapest one C,middle zone B,the closest to the stage – A,and then there was Monster Pit by the very stage. I had tickets for zone B,which meant I’m going to be standing right in the middle of the arena.

Also,you know how you have to get there starting 8 AM to get the chance to be in Monster Pit? Yeah,well I’ll get back to that later,too.

The doors opened for people to entry the arena starting 5 PM – the show was supposed to start at 7.

(Irrelevant information here – since my dearly beloved “friend” bailed on me,I went with my mom. YES I did,so what?!)

So,despite my mom was incredibly sceptic to going to 5 PM and kept whining all the way till we got to the arena – ”come on,and then you’ll just stand there till the show will start? From 5 to 7? You’ll get tired,honey AND SO WILL I! I’m not as young as I look!” –  we went there with the intention to be there at 5. And we were – there was sort of a (Not VERY long line but it was long) line already but then they opened another gate and we just quickly went there,s we got inside within like the first 20 minutes (and they opened like 10 mins late,for  the record).

While we were standing in the line,we got treated with macaroons and coke. HOW AWESOME WAS THAT!

(I had never eaten a macaroon in my entire life before and to be honest – probably won’t eat it again. I think I had some weird allergic reaction or something,because the minute I swallowed it,I felt like it’s going to come right back out,if you know what I mean!)

And by the way,here’s something else: And before you skip this ‘irrelevant’ information,just know – THIS WILL BE VERY RELEVANT LATER ON. So,read!!

While we were on our way to the venue,my classmate called me. Seriously,though.

She was like “so,are you going to that concert today?” and I was honestly so confused,she had never EVER called me before,we don’t even speak to each other at school! At least not very much anyway. (I kept wondering where the hell did she get my number?)

And I was like ”what concert?” (might seem as stupidest thing I could’ve said but mind you, I was confused,people!)

and then there was “blahblahblah” in the middle and she told me she’s going too,would I want to meet up,so I told her I’ll see her arround.

ALRIGHT > now back to the moment when we were standing in the line.

So,we got to the security check,he didn’t even check that much,I just opened one of my pockets of my bag and that was basically it. No hardcore check or anything,thanks God (for personal reasons).

We got inside by the time it was 5:30 – B and A zones were separated with some sort of a small fence or something,no idea how to explain. My surprise was that there were barely any people comming that early to our zone – we got standing spaces right by the fence! And the stage seemed very close actually,since A zone was pretty small. So yeah,me and mom hung out by the fence (my mom even made friends during the show by the way – DON’T ask me,I know it sounds weird!) and BOOM! my classmate was calling again.


She was like “Where are you?” and I was like “by the B zone,you?” She’s like “do you see the stage?” And I’m like,’well duhh” and she’s like “I’m right by the stage” and I was like “what?!” thinking,how the hell did she get there!? After another minute of embarassing confusement she rised her hand up and I saw her,so we continued our phone talk. I asked how did she get THAT close to the stage (and yeah,I was so confused that I even forgot the fact she was standing in the monster pit! For me it was just like “by the stage”) and she was like “go outside of the arena,you’ll see WC. There’s one guy handing out Monster Pit bracelets,just go and find him,and then come to me here” and I was like “what,wait,how,where,why!?” but I didn’t hesistate,I left my mom by the fence and was like “I’ll be right back” (for some weird reason I took my jacket,though) and went outside the venue to try my luck.

And there he was,that guy. He spoke english though,I walked right up to him and he was like “would you like to be in the Monster Pit?” and I was like “YES JESUS YES I DO I DO” (I felt like I was at a wedding or something because my I DO sounded pretty… orgasmic,if I can say so) and he was like “Well,are you a big Gaga fan?” and THANKS GOD AND THE HIGHER POWER I didn’t get confused there and I was like “Can’t you tell from my T-shirt? I made it myself!” and he was like “Yeah,I can tell” and “alright,here you go” and I was extatic. I was like “THANK YOU” and ran back to the venue. I didn’t get to meet my mom for any more,only after the show ended at like midnight or something.

I honestly felt very bad for that,though – we came together,I dragged her here,especially this early and not to be able to enjoy the show together… It was devastating,in a way.

But I called her from the Monster Pit and she said she was happy for me and told not to worry about her,she was “communicating with those awesome teens beside her” so she was doing pretty good there,thanks God.

So,I met up with my classmate and her sister inside the Pit and we spent the next 1,5h together there,partly standing and looking arround to all those crazily awesome costumes people had there,and partly sitting on the floor because honestly,I couldn’t stand for that long. (I probably would have died if I’d gotten here at 8 AM – poor guys who did! See,this was actually a proof that you can ALWAYS get a Monster Pit bracelet if you’re lucky enough,even if it’s right before the show when you think the Pit thing is over for you!)

Yeah,so we hung out there and then Lady Starlight came out.

Honestly? At first I thought “what the f**k is this thing?” because her show was,well,eccentric. I don’t know. And people weren’t responding very well to her performances,either. I just wanted to literally walk up to her and give her one of those Tumblr stars which say “You tried”. However,she looked pretty nice as a person and I tried my best to cheer on her 🙂

Then THE DARKNESS took over. THEY WERE SENSATIONAL. So amazingly wonderful and perfect. So tallented. Songs were great,too! I have a few videos (taken with my VERY shitty cellphone camera,though) because they were just THAT good. They totally warmed us all up,they were fantastic. I wasn’t even familiar with their music before but now I’m a fan,I’m a fan! They played for like an hour,the guys kept jumping arround and warming us up with their energy and positivity which I thought was so sweet and cool.

Oh and then the shit started. So,they finished at like 8 PM,right. And then – Gaga came up only at 9:10 PM.  So,we waited an hour and 10 minutes and it was the hardest thing to do. We were all tired,my ears were VERY ,how to say… well,I felt like I was half deaf already,because Monster Pit was very close to the sound system (Whatever it’s called) so it was FRIGGIN’ LOUD IN THERE.

Anyways. People kept yelling “GAGA GAGA GAGA” all the time,hoping she’d come out but as I said – an hour went by and we started to get pissed off,to be honest. But then… then the queen took over and it was all good from here.

She started with Government hooker and went arround the Monster Pit on her eclectic horse or something,so we got a VERY close look at her. She was gorgeous and the outfit was VERY creative,to say the least.

Yeah,so the excitement in the pit was phenomenal. But in a good way,you know? Nobody was pushing or anything – in fact,from my opinion the pit was half empty and I couldn’t understand why – and I even had a good space to jump or dance,so it was nice.

Then she sang Born This Way and to be honest,I don’t even remember what was next. I felt like I was going to pass the f**k out from the excitement,emotions and anticipation!

If we speak like that – I feel like I don’t even remember 70% of the show and that has never happened to me before! LIKE,normally I have a really good memory and everything so this is such a surprise for me. If I wouldn’t have any videos,I think I wouldn’t really remember a thing. So weird. I feel mad at myself for that now.

So,yeah annd during the concert…. I just exploded. Obviously,my classmate and her sister weren’t as excited,they kept criticising how “crazy” people were here (IT’S MONSTER PIT,WHAT DID YOU EXPECT) and how someone can go insane just for some singer,so I kind of grew angry on them,to be honest. I moved a little further from them,I mean I was still close but not that close to them. I was here to party,to dance and to celebrate – and I wasn’t going to just stand there and do nothing like they (sort of) did. No hard feelings though.

Anyways! My favourite songs of hers have to be Americano,BTW,and You and I. She nailed them. She was wonderful. And when she sang “Telephone” I was standing SO CLOSE TO HER (to her ass actually,because she rarely turned to face us,she more turned to face the crowd,which meant she was standing with her back on pit,which kind of wasn’t all that great,to be honest),like I stood in the 1st row and I could see her like,UP CLOSE. Like,insanely up close. I even have a video,I’ll post it somewhere soon,I promise.

Oh and she just randomly picked some girl from Monster Pit and was like “You look so beautiful,will you want to come backstage later?” and everyone were just going YEEAAAH and WOOOOOO and suff. I honestly felt happy for that person,whoever it was,I really did!

And she also called out one fan in A zone and was like “I remember you,you used to come to my show in France and give me those sunglasses,I remember your face!” (maybe she didn’t say exactly these words but the thought was the same)

So,yup! And the show went on and she kept dancing and stuff,it felt so nice and she had the most gorgeous smile my eyes have seen. She felt really heartwarm and sweet,she spoke in a very gentle way,so that touched my heart.

And then came the part were people were supposed to throw things/letters to the stage and I was too far to be able to do it. I feel so dissapointed I didn’t get my letter to her,I feel like I sort of failed myself,you know? Oh well. So,that sucked.

But anyways,some guy (or girl?) threw a T-shirt and SHE PUT IT ON! While singing HAIR & YOU AND I,she had it on. That was the sweetest thing,I believe. And she also put on a tiara which some girl threw,so that all was very nice.

And she dedicated one song to someone who was in the 1st row. Bliss.

One of the quotes I remember clearly was “Thank you all for comming tonight,for paying for a ticket,I know that shit was fucking expensive for you but I’m here and I’ll dance and sing and will make this a good night for you and everybody laughted because… Well,the ticket really was pretty f**king expensive,to say the least. At least for us anyway.

And while singing YOU AND I she took someone’s poster and ran arround with it. That somehow touched my heart and it wasn’t even my poster,haha ❤

Then she said “those people who have posters – you all can come backstage later” and again,I was dissapointed that WHY THE HELL DIDN’T I HAVE A POSTER? Ohh uhh. Anyways,NO HARD FEELINGS. At least,I’m trying to.

And then later she told to one another fan who was obviously on fire that “relax,you can come backstage later,too”.

She was so very nice to us all,so smiley and lovey-dovey it was beyond adorable 🙂

Oh yeah. She had those smoke effects going on on the stage and oh boy,they were comming in our faces pretty frequently. That sucked,because 1) we weren’t able to see much because of that and 2) I wanted to cough very often,so that wasn’t so great after all.

And then the last (not the last but you’ll understand what I mean!) song she sang was “Scheise”. And she ended with a “Good night,Riga!” and just went down. And we spent like the next 10 minutes wondering,WTF just happened and is she even going to come back? Some people already went out of the arena,by the way. So,that was one major confusement here and I couldn’t say it was nice.

Then I understood she didn’t even sing Marry The Night or The Edge Of Glory and I felt pretty pissed off,like if she ended like that,it was just not fair at all.

But then,after all the waiting,she went out to perform those two songs and it was great but for me the feeling was gone. I don’t know why,it’s not like I was that pissed off or anything but… I don’t know.

And then she finished it with Marry The Night.  She took a kid with a  green wig on stage (could’ve been 10 years old +/-) and she had a poster sign of “Gaga come here” and she was like “Well,I came,didn’t I” and she asked does the girl speak english (I didn’t hear what the girl said but Gaga repeated “a little bit?”) and she asked her “Do you have a pocket?” and the girl just stood here like “aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhddjgklfhkgjfkll” and Gaga said it twice and then was like “hold on” and put the girls poster in one of that girl’s jacket pockets. This doesn’t really make sense but anyways.

And then she sang,she danced,I was standing right behind both of them (as Gaga + kid were standing not on stage but on that… Oh f**k,how do I explain this? Anyways,she was facing the crowd again and with her back on us,what a surprise here) and tried my best to enjoy this.

And then they both went down and BOOM!,show’s done,bye bye.

So… It was definately one of the best experiences in my entire life but… Something was missing. I thought this show would change my life ( I was really hoping for that to happen) as I’ve heard so many people saying “Seeing Gaga live was lifechanging,she set me free” but I just didn’t feel it – no,I mean I did feel it but not THAT much. I didn’t feel that energy,not till maximum,you know? So,please don’t hate me when I say this but I felt like she wasn’t putting her entire heart in it because I recognized that 70% of what she said was exactly the same as she said in Vilnius the night before (like,EXACTLY the same. Like,word to word. Mhmmm,I don’t really know how I feel about that). Maybe I just shouldn’t have watched that one Lithuania BTWBall video on Youtube. Oh well.

So,yeah and then my mom called me where am I and there was this huge confusement because I didn’t hear her and she didn’t hear me,I was basically yelling like crazy in my cellphone for her to hear and don’t know if she did or not but I said I’ll be by gate 5 doors and repeated that like 10 times hoping she’d hear me and guess she did,as I stood here by the gate,she came up to me within like the next 5 minutes.

Then there was this crazy run from the tram to the centre of the city as it was nearly 0:15 here and the very last transportation back to our city was at 0:25,so that was insane but thanks God,we made it,got home safely,everything went well from that matter.

OH and I didn’t even mention how crowded the tram was! I was riding without a ticket,I confess but it was so crowded that nobody would even be able to check it,like we were standing basically squeezed between each other,so it was insane. But I laughted a lot in there,don’t know why.

My mom said she liked the show. Lady Starlight and The Darkness – not so much,as she was “here for Gaga not them” but she admitted it was an amazing show indeed and said she saw Gaga pretty well from that place where we originally stood at 5:30. I actually think she sometimes saw her even better than we did because she was facing that side a lot and us – not really.

So,that’s my crazy experience – I took some photos,crappy videos and everything (my camera died by the end of the show by the way. Stupid shit technology!),which I am going to put somewhere very soon.

OH and I think I lost my letter I had in my hand. It just fell somewhere I think,I don’t even remember where did I put it or anything,In just remember I had it in my hand for the show and when I was walking outside. It was so weird,after the show I almost felt brainwashed or something,like I don’t remember anything that happened. So weird. I’m actually starting to worry about myself,I normally remember everything very clearly,so this is something new and frightening for me.

Thanks for reading this,everyone! That’s my BTWBall experience in short (IN LONG).

Have you guys been to her shows,as well? Were your experience similar to mine?
Leave a comment,don’t be shy,fellows 😉


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So,as it’s literally NO secret to anybody anymore – I am attending the #BornThisWayBall tomorrow in Riga,Latvia.

Let’s all just take a moment to appreciate that Lady Gaga herself (along with few dozen tech trucks and 1000+ people from her crew and staff) is in my country. Talk about dreams comming true.

Has anyone of you seen her new show live yet? What are your thoughts? And let’s not forget – does anybody have any tips & tricks how to get into actually meeting her?

Keep yo’ fingers crossed for me tomorrow,people! Who knows,maybe I’ll make my star shine after all.


And DON’T FORGET to check back the following weekend for all the details & dirt from the concert!

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Dear Facebook and Twitter stalkers who reads this (as well as those few other people who have stumbled upon this post by accident),

It was my 18th birthday on August 1st.

Out of over 20 people to who I talk to daily,only 3 – 4 of them actually remembered of it and sent me some really nice words on my special day. So,thank you from the bottom of my heart,guys! I won’t forget it,believe me 🙂

And you know what’s funny: Today,when I’m writing this,is August 7th and people still keep congrating me now. It’s like a chain reaction or something! Like… B*tch,it was a week ago,don’t think that congrating me now will make me feel any better,alright? If you didn’t remember it on 1st then you just didn’t,at least don’t greet me right now because it’s really embarassing for me and I am sure,for you as well,I’m just saying.

So,with all of this I’m just trying to say – Thank you to those VERY few people who did congrat me on my birthday – that was very thoughtful of you! And to those who didn’t – I hate you. No seriously,I really do.



I’m 18 now,YOU MAD?


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I do like watermelons… But not this one.

So,I was eating watermelon the other day and it’s always a mess when it comes to:

1) cutting it,so you wouldn’t cut a piece of your hand with it;

2) eating it,so it wouldn’t drop all over your shirt,your mouth,your hands… Like,everywhere basically!

And then I saw this video on Tumblr (because I tracked the “watermelon” tag the other day. So what,some people track even weirder things there,so this is nowhere creepy yet) and it’s like… I do like watermelons but I would never in my life eat one,which would be served like this.

Enjoy the video,guys!

And I know it’s gross and all,so…. You’re welcome.

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A little about my birthday

In other news,it’s my birthday soon! Which is both amazing and tragic,concidering how it always goes. And it doesn’t go well,I can tell you that.

I am pretty positive that nobody will remember and even the ones who will…. Like,what’s the easiest way to wish somebody a ‘happy birthday’? Via Facebook,ofcourse! So I will most likely get no texts and no calls,just a f*#king wall post saying “Happy Birthday”. How classy is that.

Another thing is,I don’t really celebrate that stuff. Like,birthdays are pretty much dead to me. I am not emo or emotionally destructive,I just don’t really see the point of celebrating,I guess. Alright,that probably is emotionally destructive but HEY! You’re not the boss of me,I do whatever I want. Yee-ah! Did that just sound bad-ass or am I really that socially awkward?

Socially awkward,oh wow,that didn’t really make sense,did it.


And DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED on having a giant birthday cake. I don’t even eat cake! My parents,however,always insist I have one,so I usually end up stuffing my mouth full of it,just enough to make them smile. And yes,I know I’m a good kid,thank you.

So,with all this,I’m just going to say – F  U,18! And F-U very,very much.

Alexa has spoken.

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Random confession: I don’t even work out. Like,AT ALL. And here’s why

Hey you guys!

As you know I’ve had a writers block for the past few weeks (or am I supposed to say days? I don’t even know for how long am I doing this bad! Is that weird?) and I couldn’t say I’ve gotten  better.  Big surprise there!

ANYWAYS,random question for you,my fellow bloggers: Do you guys exercise? Like,at all? And exercising your fingers by typing in the computer does NOT count.

To be honest,I don’t. Which probably is bad for me but here’s my reason why I don’t do shit: Because every single friggin’ time after I go and work out,I feel  this giant anger and sadness instead of satisfaction and positive exhaustion and that just blocks me inside.

Am I the only one?
Because everyone,and I mean everrrryone I know, says I am. Ugh. In that case,what is wrong with meh?

I’ve always been skinny from nature,so I wouldn’t need to excercise to be thin,I’d rather go and work out to build some muscles and gain some strenght. Y’know?  But when I go,it’s like,I have no problem running or riding the bike at the gym but I just don’t feel it,I don’t feel the satisfaction which you are supposed to get after a nice lil’ workout.

And needless to say,music doesn’t really help me with it,either.

So,yup my friends,do you feel my pain?

By the way,I am way too obsessed with the word “skinny” these days. BLAME THE 21st CENTURY.

I think I’m just going to start working out at home or something,one step at a time,and let’s see what happens. I’ll keep you guys updated!

Untill then… then.

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Sometimes being a teenager makes you wanna die.

“sometimes being a teenager makes you want to die.”

I heard this phrase on AWKWARD and actually thought it was kind of powerful.

‘Cause really,sometimes as a teen you do want to die – without even concidering the awful and sad effect that it’d leave on your beloved ones,friends and all other people who care about you – because sometimes,just sometimes it gets too much. It just does.

I’ve been there,I’ve felt that.

And you know what,I try and try to go on and pretend like I never think of those things – knowing that I would never be powerful enough to cut my own life like that – but in fact,I do. Everyone does,from some point!

I am sick and tired of feeling the way I do and I feel like that pretty much every week, at least once. You see,the funny thing is,it does get better. You know how they say “time heals” but what they don’t tell is that when it does get better,there will eventually come that moment when it’ll get worse again. And then better. And then back to bad. And then better. And then,eventually,it’ll all be bad all over again… That’s something I can say from my own experiences,unfortunately.

I’m a fighter by nature,grown in a family of strong woman,but I also have a fragile side,which I don’t show too often but sometimes I guess I should – just enough to let people know it’s not always as perfect and nice as it seems to be from other people’s perspective.

Here,I’ve said it.

In any way,what I’m trying to tell here in a very weird and twisted way isdon’t do anything to yourself without thinking about it clearly. Because really,is there a way back after? There isn’t,as sad as it is. And it will get better – and I’m not saying it won’t get worse again within a few weeks,months,years,but all we  can do is just hope that by the time the bad stuff will come up again,we’ll know a better and more responsible way to handle them.


Who knows,maybe eventually we’ll get older & wiser,or some shit like that.

Alexa has spoken.


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sjdhskgjhfkgfkljkl. Hi.



It’s official,I am having a writers block. 

Can you even have a writers block when all you do is just write a …blog!?

Well,you can and this is all happening to me right now.


In any way,here’s a beautiful gif of my beloved Sebastian Stan (hitting his head against what seems to be a weird-shaped pillow) to brighten your day. Did that just depressed you enough?

Life is hard,you guys.


So,long story short,I’ve been running arround town lately,doing a bunch of stuff (a.ka nothing at all) and in fact,I’m going away for the weekend,as well! Sounds fun? Does it? Well,I’m just gonna be going  to grandmas. Nothing that special. Cries.

In any way,I’m watching Gossip Girl in an hour,and ofcourse,yes I’ve seen every episode already,thankyouverymuch for reminding that to me constantly (yeah,you know who you are) but I just love that show,it’s…. it’s Gossip Girl,okay?!

And it’s on my local TV within an hour,so now you guys know what I’ll be doing approximately 60 minutes from now.


Alright,I guess I’ll talk to you guys soon (with ‘you guys’ I just mean all my imaginary friends on Twitter,Tumblr on Facebook – I love you!),so stay safe,don’t do drugs,do your laundry and eat chicken. Because heck yeah,chicken tastes gooooood.


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Political Animals premiered tonight. ALL THE SEBASTIAN FEELS!

Because that is what it was – pure perfection. The cast (SIGOURNEY! And Sebastian,too! Let me love you!!),the plot,the entire pilot was great,there’s not really much else I could say. Well,there are a few things but who am I kidding,I’m not really capable of writing it all down,at least not today anyway.

Mhm. But I seriously need to get my shit together and write a proper review later.

For now though,I’m just going to snuggle under my blanket and cry because of all this perfection.

And yup,I’m going insane. Deal with it.



And YES,this post has 2 gifs. BECAUSE IT DESERVES

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My very personalised “Political Animals” appreciation post.

What is it with those fandoms that everyone always thinks that some certain celebrity is their husband or wife? I mean,he’s mine,obviously. Get over it. (But jk,really) (I just wanted to use this “Awkward” gif,y’all)

With that being said,it’s less than A DAY left till Political Animals go on in the USA. I mean… Sebastian Stan as a drug addicted yet totally adorable politican’s son? I’d tap that. And I’d tap that hard.

Here,I said it.

Alright,so if we pretend that I am not totally embarassed about what I just wrote,I’ve came to a conclusion that I finally have to take some action with my Sebastian obsession.

I think I’m sending a fanmail to him. Who knows,maybe I’ll receive a reply one day?

I’d bet that day will be  like Christmas.

Actually,the other day I thought about how many celebrity crushes I’ve had  (husbands,as I prefer to call them) – I’ve went from Zac Efron to Chace Crawford,to Chris Evans to Sebastian Stan. And I’m not even 18 yet.

Here’s a random thought: I love how people on Tumblr don’t judge you for your obsessions. I mean,someone likes Glee cast,someone likes Britney and someone likes pretty food pictures and all of that is okay – on Tumblr,they like you for who you are (which,most likely,is a crazy nerd freak who spends his time reblogging some deeply pointless shit.) And the best part is – you don’t have to fight over anybody,because we can all share!
It’s not like that person knows we even exist anyway.

And with all that being said,once again – sdlkfjdlkfgjb lgkyujlktjglflkjv lfkl monday morning (when I’ll be able to download it here,hopefully!),Y U SO FAR?

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