Tag Archives: teenager

A little about my birthday

In other news,it’s my birthday soon! Which is both amazing and tragic,concidering how it always goes. And it doesn’t go well,I can tell you that.

I am pretty positive that nobody will remember and even the ones who will…. Like,what’s the easiest way to wish somebody a ‘happy birthday’? Via Facebook,ofcourse! So I will most likely get no texts and no calls,just a f*#king wall post saying “Happy Birthday”. How classy is that.

Another thing is,I don’t really celebrate that stuff. Like,birthdays are pretty much dead to me. I am not emo or emotionally destructive,I just don’t really see the point of celebrating,I guess. Alright,that probably is emotionally destructive but HEY! You’re not the boss of me,I do whatever I want. Yee-ah! Did that just sound bad-ass or am I really that socially awkward?

Socially awkward,oh wow,that didn’t really make sense,did it.

Anyways.

And DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED on having a giant birthday cake. I don’t even eat cake! My parents,however,always insist I have one,so I usually end up stuffing my mouth full of it,just enough to make them smile. And yes,I know I’m a good kid,thank you.

So,with all this,I’m just going to say – F  U,18! And F-U very,very much.

Alexa has spoken.

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Sometimes being a teenager makes you wanna die.

“sometimes being a teenager makes you want to die.”

I heard this phrase on AWKWARD and actually thought it was kind of powerful.

‘Cause really,sometimes as a teen you do want to die – without even concidering the awful and sad effect that it’d leave on your beloved ones,friends and all other people who care about you – because sometimes,just sometimes it gets too much. It just does.

I’ve been there,I’ve felt that.

And you know what,I try and try to go on and pretend like I never think of those things – knowing that I would never be powerful enough to cut my own life like that – but in fact,I do. Everyone does,from some point!

I am sick and tired of feeling the way I do and I feel like that pretty much every week, at least once. You see,the funny thing is,it does get better. You know how they say “time heals” but what they don’t tell is that when it does get better,there will eventually come that moment when it’ll get worse again. And then better. And then back to bad. And then better. And then,eventually,it’ll all be bad all over again… That’s something I can say from my own experiences,unfortunately.

I’m a fighter by nature,grown in a family of strong woman,but I also have a fragile side,which I don’t show too often but sometimes I guess I should – just enough to let people know it’s not always as perfect and nice as it seems to be from other people’s perspective.

Here,I’ve said it.

In any way,what I’m trying to tell here in a very weird and twisted way isdon’t do anything to yourself without thinking about it clearly. Because really,is there a way back after? There isn’t,as sad as it is. And it will get better – and I’m not saying it won’t get worse again within a few weeks,months,years,but all we  can do is just hope that by the time the bad stuff will come up again,we’ll know a better and more responsible way to handle them.

SUICIDE IS NEVER THE ANSWER. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. Like,EVER.

Who knows,maybe eventually we’ll get older & wiser,or some shit like that.

Alexa has spoken.

Peace.

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