OUT WITH THE OLD,IN WITH THE NEW

You know what,it’s time to call things as they are not as they come. Because I’m just really honestly tired of always returning to this situation where,well,let’s just say it’s not a good place to be at,both emotionally and physically.

I WANT to feel better about myself,my appearances,my language and my personality.

And let’s face it,I can’t do that while tagging along all of the past’s bullsh*t.

So,here we go.

First of all,I don’t eat sushi. I don’t like it not even the tiniest bit. It makes me squirm and it makes my throat super itchy.

I don’t really enjoy sweet stuff. I used to – like a lot actually! – but as if right now,if somebody would offer me a piece of chocolate cake or some sugary candie,I’d say no. Pizza,yes. Cakes,no please. And thank you.

Don’t even get me started on meat. I eat that stuff. I do. I used to think I don’t,tried to convince myself a dozen of times – what a fool – but I do. And I eat it regularly. Even if it sometimes makes me feel sick in the stomach because the truth is,if I eat more than just a little bit,I always feel too full to functionate. That’s true,by the way.

I hate diets. They’re POINTLESS. Seriously,like everyone says they’re bad for you,so why would anyone still want to go through that stuff? I don’t get it. To starve yourself to fit into,what,some crazily high standarts? No,thank you,no me gusta.

I’m allergic to olives,so obviously I would never eat them unless I’d decide to die a slow and painful death. Not this decade,amigos.

I don’t drink diet coke/coke at all. Like,ever. Sprite,Fanta,lemonade or iced tea is a yes for me but cola? Oh please. I’m from those 90’s kids who were taught to avoid that stuff if you don’t want to get an extra layer of fat or a heart attack. And I proudly stick to it.

And I’m not sure how is this relevant but it is what it is and besides, I guess you just have to know these things about me in order to fully know the real personå I am. You know?

Moving on.

I don’t need some friends who talk behind my back,don’t respond to texts for months [or weeks? Come on,you do have your phone. Answer it.],who can’t find time for the person,who always bitch about random stuff I,by the way,like; Who has completely 0 common interests with me,who are aggnorant or hypocrites. Not to mention those friends who’d try to change who I am for who they think I should be. Why don’t you start with yourself. Let’s see how it goes then.

And nobody’s ever that busy. No one. Never. Like,seriously.  I believe this theory that if you like the person,you’ll find that one moment. For those of you who truly know me,you guys know I say this alot. And you know it’s true because I am sure you,yes you,have at least once avoided someone by just telling them ”you’re busy” when really,you’re just chilling; It’s not even an excuse,it’s in a way,lying. And bad news for you champ,I don’t tolerate it.

I’m not actually saying I have never done so myself; But at least I feel bad about it and try to make it up for the people. At least for a moment,I feel like I’ve been a bad person. Not like you all who think that the sun is shining out of your *** so you can do whatever you want,because someone will always stick with you anyway.

And I apologize for the relatively big amount of censoure used in the last sentence. I was just explaining my point. Whatever.

Cursing is bad though. FYI.

And I wouldn’t want a friend who’d never be here for me,would you? I think pretty much nobody would want that. Because we all crave to be loved and cared about,so I don’t even think I need to say anything more. You just know what I’m talking about and I’m sure you’d feel the same.

I don’t like doing make-up because I strongly believe it hides the real features a girl has.

Make-up tutorials? They don’t interest me.

But I still do it time after times because… Well,because we live in a society where the looks are everything and once you don’t have those,you’re out of the game.

Do I feel comfortable in all of those layers of lipsticks and mascara and foundation? I don’t. And that is why I encourage you to think about is make-up really what makes you confident and beautiful? And if it is – I actually know some people for who it is like that – I’m not judging you,because everyone’s different. I’m just saying how I personally look at it.  Period.

……………………………………

With all of this,I’m not saying I’d be better than all of you,I’m really not. Everyone has their flaws,their issues,their dark sides but I just want to get rid of mine. Sincerely,I do. And if writing down how I really feel will help me to do that at least the smallest bit – I‘m doing it. 

Once again,this post is for me,about me,by me. Everything here is strongly personal and not neccessarely normal maybe,but that is who I am,that is how I think.

And by the way,to those who’ve been asking,I don’t like writing in latvian language and I most likely won’t do that for the next kabillion pointless posts I’ll write. Because unlike some people,I like to live more cosmopolite and writing in english just expands my readers group. Here,I’ve said it. No latvian texts on here. At least not for now anyway.

And if you think what I said here was crazy,good you didn’t hear the thoughts I kept to myself.

Peace.

 

By the way,Alexa is short for my middle name which is Alexandra,which I like using better than my 1st name. How about that.